B O R I S
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Petco sucks, Petco swallows,
(as does Petco CFO Dick SaltPeter) Hello! My name is Boris. I am a 6-yr-old Black Labrador Retriever. I was born in Yuma, Arizona. My owner, Dave, drove all the way from Colorado Springs, about 1000 miles, to get me! Luckily for me, Dave shot lots of video when he picked me up, so I can still see my Mom, Cody, sometimes. Also, the video enabled Dave to learn that my brain had somehow become imprinted with the sound of the whistle Cody's owner used to signal me and my brothers and sisters (10 of us in all), so he got the right whistle so I could immediately understand who my new pack leader was. I can also show my friends video of me retrieving my first live bird when I was only 8 weeks old! I think it also helped a lot that Dave read a copy of Peter Vollmer's great Super Puppy book(let). It really helped him learn a lot of things so he could become a great pack leader. I enjoy making Dave think I'm intelligent. Once, he shot video of me as I was playing with a cricket along the woodwork. Hours later, he played back the video, and as soon as I saw it, I ran right over to the woodwork to see if the bug was back. Dave still can't get over it! But he's easily impressed; he also thinks it's a big deal that I nod my head when I need to answer him in the affirmative, and that one of my great-grandfathers, Volwood's Ruff and Reddy, allegedly changed hands for $50,000 (I don't know how much that is in dog money, but I think it's a lot). |
Special FoodI have a bit of an anomalous digestive system. Dave sometimes says I'd be a perfect dog if not for that. But he feeds me a special lunatic-fringe health-nut type of special dog food, Wysong. It contains living micro-organisms, and thus replicates a natural dog diet. The chicken in it was hand-raised by Amish folks, and the corn is a high-protein hybrid. It comes in small oxygen-free sealed metalized plastic bags, which act as barriers against light and oxygen, and are never open for very long. This also allows it to be preserved, unlike nearly all other dog foods, which are, comparatively speaking, embalmed! As long as I have Wysong, my tummy never bothers me at all. I've tried nearly all the other foods on the market (I tried Wysong last!), but they just made me sick. And Dave likes it because it's no more expensive than any of the national premium brands, because those others waste so much money on advertising and slick packaging and, for all we know, marketing kick-backs. You can learn more about Wysong pet foods than you can about just about any other food there is, by calling 800-748-0188. (But ask real nicely, OK?, because I think this number is supposed to be for orders only...) Petco claims to sell premium foods, but Wysong is too good for Petco. Petco is afraid that Wysong would hurt their sales of more profitable, less healthful foods which Petco prefers to sellMy Favorite SongsDave says I'm quite a crooner, but I don't know. I usually don't enjoy vocalizing all that much; most of the time I just listen. But whenever a special song comes on I just can't help myself. I sit, throw my head back, flatten my ears against my head, rise up on my front toes, and sing with all the feeling I can muster.
My favorite artists/albums/songs include: |
